


It's Like a Vine You Can't Untangle

by PadawanRyan



Category: Jonas Brothers
Genre: Author is bad at writing sex scenes, Autosexual, Incest, Jealousy, M/M, Making a deal, Nick has sex with another version of himself, Paranoid Music Video, Pining, Pre-Slash, Rewrite, Slash, World Tour 2009, explicit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 17:40:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18211484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadawanRyan/pseuds/PadawanRyan
Summary: Nick has been pining after Joe for some time, but never imagined that he'd do anything about it because of course admitting incestual feelings for your older brother would just about ruin everything.He never imagined this would ever happen either. He's still having trouble figuring out whether he's even imagining it or not.





	It's Like a Vine You Can't Untangle

**Author's Note:**

> A little background on this before you read it: this was inspired by a fic I wrote back in 2009 when the Paranoid music video came out. There's the one [brief moment at about 1:26](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QyRspHyPxQ) when Nick bumps shoulders with another version of himself, and my 18 year old mind at the time automatically read "sexual tension" from that interaction. So, I wrote this oneshot where the version of Nick in the leather jacket stepped out of a mirror and slept with the real Nick Jonas.
> 
> However, that fic soon became lost. I cannot find a copy of it posted anywhere on the internet -- it's not with all my old Jonas Brothers fics here on AO3, nor is it on my old LiveJournal. It may have been posted on JonasFic, but not only is JonasFic unavailable these days, but it would've been the old JonasFic (the Proboards one that was deleted in favour of the Hyperboards one in 2010/2011 or so). I also no longer have the computer that I wrote it on, so the original file is lost as well. Despite that, this fic remained in my mind for the following ten years, because it was the most iconic thing I had ever written.
> 
> (nowadays I'm sure my Master's thesis, or anything I've done so far for my PhD, might take that place)
> 
> Recently, I decided maybe that I'd give a stab at rewriting it just so there would be another copy available. The problem with this, however, was that I don't remember the details of this fic anymore. I remember the premise but that's about it. So, after spending the last couple weeks knees deep into Joick fanfiction for the first time in about ten years, I decided to rewrite this with a Joick element to it -- instead of being pure PWP like the original, this one has a bit of a plot to it. Some other changes include the referral of the doppelgänger Nick as Leather Jacket Nick™ because well, I'm not sure I called him anything in particular in the original, but in a [Tumblr post I wrote about the lost fic](http://padawanryan.tumblr.com/post/183274848948/so-back-in-the-day-i-used-to-write-a-lot-of-jonas), I referred to him as Leather Jacket Nick™ and it stuck while writing this oneshot.
> 
> I should also note that it's been many, many years since I've written fanfiction - I've considered myself "retired" from it since before I started grad school, due to the pressures of my school work - so it won't be perfect. I should also note that I am a gay man and a bottom but I also struggle with writing realistic sex scenes, so if it doesn't seem realistic, it's not due to my lack of experience -- I'm just awkward, but I was committed to writing this as explicitly as the original.
> 
> So, without further adieu, here we are. Enjoy the things my sick mind came up with both at 18 and again at 28.

_“Hold on there, big boy.”_

It was a day just like any other day on the tour. There were hours to go still until they had to be at the venue for the soundcheck, so Nick was holed up in his hotel room, debating between doing some writing or going to find his brothers to perhaps go out and explore. He entertained the former strongly – when you’re touring the world it can be difficult to find time for writing, so who could blame him for taking the time when it was available to him? – but the latter was quickly winning out, considering it had been too long since Nick had seen his brothers.

Or rather, one brother in particular.

_Joe._

It hadn’t actually been that long since he had seen Joe, but every moment away from the older boy seemed like too long. Nick and Joe had always had a very close relationship, but Nick could feel that there was definitely something different about it lately. Kevin was often busy these days either with Danielle or talking to Danielle or thinking about Danielle, so Nick and Joe were spending even more time together, sometimes teasing their older brother but most often having their own fun. Kevin goes to the movies with Danielle? Great, Nick goes to the movies with Joe. It hadn’t even occurred to him at first that what they were doing might be considered _dating_.

When thoughts of Joe seemed to occupy his brain while he attempted to write, he dismissed it as totally natural – they were a band of brothers and Joe shared the lead vocals with Nick, so of course Nick would think about Joe when writing a song.

When his onstage focus would turn to Joe, he figured that he simply had to make sure Joe was on top of everything. Joe was the most likely to forget a lyric or stumble over his own feet, so he needed constant supervision, and Nick was more than willing to provide it. It didn’t hurt that he also loved seeing the look of pure elation and adrenaline on his brother’s face while they were performing, the same look he knew that he, too, wore.

He even dismissed his own arousal during or after a show as a result of the adrenaline, because it wasn’t exactly uncommon for people to grow hard when they got excited or worked up.

But when that arousal grew even more to even just the thought of Joe, or Joe looking at Nick, or Joe’s voice right beside Nick’s ear while his arm was draped over the younger boy’s shoulder, well, that was harder to dismiss.

_It should be wrong_ , Nick thought to himself on far too many occasions.

It _was_ wrong.

That didn’t stop him from noticing it, though. That didn’t stop him from feeling it, and it certainly didn’t stop him from _enjoying_ it. That was even more wrong, but Nick _liked_ that Joe caused his body to react in this way. None of the girls he had dated had caused a physical reaction such as this. Sure, he enjoyed being with them and he would be lying if he said he hadn’t enjoyed the taste of their lips or the feeling of cuddling close to them, but none of them had incited this primal urge in him. Cuddling close to Joe, which he did regularly enough because _they were brothers_ and it was _totally natural_ , even caused him to grow hard. He couldn’t excuse it as adolescent hormones when his dick seemed only to want one person.

When he saw Joe and Camilla together, holding hands or sharing a sweet smile while having a private conversation, he saw red. It was at this moment that he realized his brain had caught up with his dick, and his entire being wanted one person.

_Joe._

But Nick wasn’t stupid, he knew how wrong this should have been – would be to other people – so he wasn’t about to say anything. He had become quite good at plastering that fake smile onto his face without missing a beat, and while Joe might have looked at him skeptically once or twice, everyone else seemed to buy it.

However, Nick couldn’t get enough of Joe. They had always had a very close relationship and he simply couldn’t imagine a life without Joe, so he did his best to ignore the situation – to ignore his almost constant arousal around the older boy, to ignore his the jealous thoughts that encouraged him to rip Joe away from Camilla and claim him for himself – and continue to spend time with him. He started to recognize the _dating_ aspect of their relationship, even if Joe hadn’t, and let himself believe for a few hours a day that Joe was _his_ by joining him at movies, smiling at him across a restaurant table, and curling into his shoulder as he dozed off on the tour bus.

So, on this day – a day just like any other day on the tour – Nick figured that he would find Joe and Kevin and ask if they would like to sightsee for a bit. He was betting that Kevin would be too “busy” to join them, which meant that he would have Joe all to himself.

Adjusting the collar of his plaid shirt, he grabbed his room key and slid it into the pocket of his jeans when a voice rang out behind him.

“Hold on there, big boy.”

There should not have been anyone else in the room with him, but he recognized that voice. _It couldn’t possibly –_

He turned around slowly, jerking for a moment when his eyes found the person who had spoken to him.

_It was him._

Standing in front of the full-length mirror across the room from him was none other than _himself_. Had this Nick Jonas been wearing the same plaid shirt then perhaps he might have brushed it off as a fluke – that he had been looking in the mirror and imagined the voice – but this Nick was wearing a leather jacket that he didn’t even recognize. His eyes had to be playing tricks on him because it was _just not possible_. Maybe this – dare he say it – _cool_ version of himself was simply how he envisioned himself in his head? Maybe this was who he wanted to be? Maybe this was the Nick that he thought _Joe_ would want him to be? The smirk on the other Nick’s face turned into a knowing grin as he took in the questioning look on the original Nick’s face.

“You’re not imagining me,” the Leather Jacket Nick™ – that’s how he was going to think of him, because goddamn it, Nick was already _cool_ – said as he took slow steps closer. “I mean, I’m not exactly real, but you’re also not imagining me.”

It took Nick a minute to process what his doppelgänger had said and sputtered out, “W-what?”

“You’re not imaging me.”

“Then what –” Nick wasn’t even certain of what he was doing, because how could I possibly be talking to a physical manifestation of myself, I must be crazy, “are you?”

Leather Jacket Nick™ took another step closer. “I’m you.”

He was close enough now to touch, and Nick couldn’t help but reach out a hesitant hand and poke the other boy in the shoulder. It rocked back slightly under his finger, the hardness of the bone and the leather of the jacket tangible as Nick slowly pulled his hand back. He was real, but how could that be? Didn’t he just say he wasn’t real?

Nick still wasn’t sure of what was going through his head, whether or not he was even sane, when he asked, “Aren’t you…I mean, what –”

“Maybe don’t ask questions,” Leather Jacket Nick™ responded simply, chuckling while shaking his head lightly. “It’s probably better if you don’t.”

That sounded rather ominous to Nick, but he barely had a chance to say so before his doppelgänger stepped right into his personal space, so close that he could feel the other boy’s breath – _his breath_ – on his own face. A hand came up to his face, fingers brushing lightly over his lips as Nick let out a breathy whine, surprising even himself. The other boy chuckled again before pulling his hand away, almost causing Nick to whine again from the loss of touch.

“Wow, you’re really hard up, aren’t you?” the doppelgänger asked, dropping his hand to Nick’s thigh to brush over his tight denim. Nick could feel his cock swelling in the way that only Joe had been able to do before.

“I mean, you want to fuck _your own brother_ , don’t you? But,” Leather Jacket Nick™ trailed his hand up Nick’s thigh and edged closer to the growing tightness in his pants as he spoke, “have you ever imagined what this cock would feel like inside of you?”

But that…that wasn’t…Nick had never thought about himself in that way before. He had plenty of opportunity, didn’t he? He looked in the mirror often enough, and he certainly had his own hands on his cock almost every single night. Of course, his own hands on his cock were certainly not the same thing as someone else’s cock buried in his ass, and _woah where the fuck did that come from?_ In all the times Nick had imagined himself with Joe, he had been the one on top, fucking his older brother – into the bed, over the desk, pounding into him from below as Joe rode him – but never the other way around.

_Oh god_ , he realized as the other boy cupped his erection through his jeans, causing him to let out a desperate moan, _I want him to fuck me. I want **me** to fuck me._

Leather Jacket Nick™ seemed to understand exactly what he was thinking. “You’re thinking about right now, aren’t you? You dirty boy.”

Nick had never had the opportunity to use dirty talk before and he wasn’t even sure he would know what to say if he had been given the opportunity, but hearing some of the words spilling from the other boy’s mouth – _his own mouth_ – in that suggestive tone caused him to buck his hardness into his doppelgänger’s grip. “Y-yes…”

“Hmmm,” Leather Jacket Nick™ mused, “why don’t we make a deal then?”

_A deal? What?_

“I will do to you all the things you want to do to Joe –”

_Oh fuck, please, yes._

“– but only if you stop pussyfooting around and go show him what the fuck you want.”

_Fuck._

See, this was exactly what Nick had never intended to do. It was fucked up, wasn’t it? While he may have been able to convince himself that it didn’t feel wrong, it _should_ feel wrong and other people would certainly not hesitate to tell him that it _is_ wrong. Joe would surely think so, would have nothing but disgust for Nick, would distance himself from the younger boy when all Nick wanted was to spend as much time as he could with Joe – to have as much as he could without crossing any boundaries or scaring his brother away. He couldn’t possibly conceive of actually _doing_ anything, but well, there was a hand unzipping his jeans and reaching into the waistline of his briefs and when he felt the touch of skin against skin, he suddenly lost the ability argue.

“Well?” Leather Jacket Nick™ had stalled his movements, his fingers still ghosting over the skin of Nick’s pulsing cock. He looked to Nick expectantly.

“U-uhh…” Nick wasn’t sure what he could say, “I don’t…I mean, he…”

Suddenly he felt the hand shift its way out of his briefs as the other boy in front of him began to shake his head. “If you don’t want to, then you clearly don’t need me,” his doppelgänger stated, face neutral and sounding as though it didn’t matter to him either way what Nick decided.

“Wait!”

Leather Jacket Nick™ had not moved back out of his personal space, so Nick reached up quickly and grabbed him around the back of the neck, holding his face close and letting his lips hover over the identical ones in front of him. “Maybe…” he conceded, “I can agree to your terms.”

The grin returned to his doppelgänger’s face as the other boy grabbed onto Nick’s wrists and removed his hands from his neck. “Good. But remember, I call the shots here.”

Nick nodded, his face still close enough to the other boy’s that their noses brushed as he did so, “Okay. Okay.”

The same hands that had grabbed Nick’s wrist then lowered to his hips, where Leather Jacket Nick™ began to tug at Nick’s jeans. Hiking his fingers into the waistband of Nick’s briefs, he tugged them down with the jeans, allowing Nick’s hard cock to spring free, looking red and angry as pre-come already seeped from the head. When both Nick’s jeans and his underwear were pooled around his angles, the doppelgänger stood still for a moment, staring at Nick’s cock as though he was admiring the view.

Then, suddenly, the other boy was down on his knees and there was a hand gripping the throbbing member.

“Is this what you want, Nicky? Is this what you want, you dirty pervert?”

Nick should have been offended by those words. He wasn’t a _pervert_ , he was just…well, he didn’t know what he was, but it wasn’t that. However, he nodded as he attempted to hold back a whine, looking down at his _own face_ hovered only inches from his head.

“Y-yes,” he breathed out. “P-please.”

For a moment he was wondering if he had even spoken aloud, since nothing appeared to be happening, but then he felt a tongue lap at the pre-come leaking from his head and instantly let out a loud moan, having never felt anything like it before. He heard a chuckling coming from below – was the other boy laughing at him? _Is he really more experienced than me? Isn’t he supposed to be me?_ – before his head was suddenly enveloped by warmth, and very nearly bucked straight down into the other boy’s throat. A hand came to Nick’s waist to hold him in place, while another began to stroke gently at the base of his cock.

As the mouth slowly worked its way up and down his pulsing cock, Nick let out a series of sounds, ranging from whines to moans to incomprehensible words that probably meant to be something like “more” or even the blasphemous “oh god.”

He wasn’t sure how he was expected to stay standing while the other boy continued his ministrations, because his legs were starting to feel like jelly as the pleasure increased. Nick felt like he was almost nearing his climax – he hadn’t done this before, not with any of the girls he had dated, so sue him if he didn’t last very long – but before he could even think about what was happening, his dick felt cold as it popped out of the other boy’s mouth. He couldn’t help the groan that he released when his doppelgänger leaned back and released his grip on Nick’s cock.

“Easy there, Nicky,” the other boy warned. “I’m not done yet.”

Leather Jacket Nick™ returned to his feet and began to unbutton Nick’s shirt, pushing it down over his arms and to the floor. Nick kicked off his shoes, followed by the jeans and underwear still pooled around his feet, so that he was completely naked. It seemed almost unfair that his doppelgänger was still fully clothed, leaving only Nick exposed.

“You don’t have lube. No, you wouldn’t.”

It wasn’t a question.

Nick shook his head, and the other boy stepped around him, leaving him facing the opposite side of the room with his cock still aching for more attention. He could hear the footsteps behind him, thinking that perhaps the other boy would be going to the bathroom to grab some shampoo or body wash, but he could not have made it further than the desk at the front of the room before the footsteps came closer again. As he stepped back around Nick to face him again, he held up a bottle of a semi-clear liquid. Hand sanitizer, _of course_.

“This will do,” his doppelgänger assured him, “but first I need you on the bed. Ass up.”

The reality of what was about to happen hit Nick. _He’s going to fuck me. I’m going to lose my virginity to…myself_. The thought should have seemed weirder, but as Nick complied by climbing up on the bed stomach down, leaving his ass facing up and accessible, he realized that he didn’t exactly care about how weird or abnormal this was. He was rock hard and aching for release and goddamn, he really wanted a cock inside him.

He almost jumped when he felt the cold, wet finger circling his entrance. The other boy did this repeatedly for several seconds before breaching the ring, pressing the slick digit into Nick’s tight hole.

It felt weird. Not necessarily a bad weird, but _weird_ weird, as though he wasn’t sure how to feel about this intrusion in his behind. It felt even weirder to think that he hadn’t even had the opportunity to kiss the other person before suddenly appendages were inside his body, but he had very little time to think about it when suddenly another finger squeezed in beside the first. It stung and Nick clung to the blankets beneath him, biting his lip while attempting to get used to the feel of the two fingers slowly pushing in and out of his hole. He could feel the other boy curling his fingers and couldn’t hold back the yelp that came out of him when they brushed against something inside of him.

“ _Ohhhhh_ you like that, don’t you Nicky?”

He did it again – Leather Jacket Nick™ brushed against his prostate again – and Nick ground his hips and his still-leaking cock into the bed in front of him. _“Fuck!”_

A satisfied sound of approval came from behind him, followed by the promise of “soon.”

The third finger didn’t bother him as much as the second since the other boy kept brushing his prostate, and it was occurring to Nick as he thrust into the bed that he wasn’t sure he was going to last long enough for the main event. Letting out a strangled moan as the three fingers twisted around inside his ass, he begged, “Please…please –”

“You’re desperate for it, aren’t you, big boy?” the other boy asked as he removed his fingers.

“Please – now!”

He heard the ‘tsk’ as the familiar voice ground out, “ _Patience_ , Nicky.”

There was a sound of a zipper coming from behind him, followed by the rustling of jeans. Leather Jacket Nick™ certainly wasn’t rushing, and Nick felt as though it was taking forever as he listened to the other boy discard of his pants and squeeze some more sanitizer onto his hand. A couple small grunts came from behind him as the other boy had to be slicking up his dick, which made Nick even more impatient – nervous, but so fucking impatient.

The sound he made when he felt two cold hands on his hips, dragging him down the bed until his legs were hanging down over the end, was unlike anything Nick had ever heard come from his lips. A single finger poked into his hole again, seemingly to assure that it was ready, before the other boy lined up the head of his cock – _is this what **my** cock feels like?_ – and gently entered him.

_“Ohhhhhhhh fuck!”_

It was definitely bigger than three fingers. The other boy hadn’t moved since pushing in the head, allowing Nick to adjust to the intrusion.

After what felt like a lifetime, his doppelgänger began to move further. The feeling was still weird, still a little painful, but by the time the other boy had buried himself inside Nick’s ass completely, Nick already wanted to feel more. “Move,” he breathed out.

Hands came to his hips again, holding his ass firmly in place, as the hard cock inside of him slowly began to withdraw. Before he knew it, Nick felt it slam right back into him, hitting the prostate dead on. He nearly screamed with pleasure, instead letting out a low, guttural moan as the other boy again withdrew until nothing but the head was inside him and again slammed in. Nick clutched onto the bed sheets as his doppelgänger repeated the motion, pushing his ass back toward the other boy to encourage him to go even deeper (if that was even possible).

Nick heard the other boy groan as he asked, “You like that, don’t you, Nicky?”

He nodded, unsure if Leather Jacket Nick™ – who was _still wearing the leather jacket_ , as he could feel the material brush against his ass as the other boy continued to thrust into him – could even see him. It felt better than he ever expected, especially since he never intended to ever bottom.

_Maybe I’ll get Joe to do this to me once in a while_ , he thought to himself as the other boy continued to hit his prostate.

Nick definitely wasn’t going to last very much longer. He pushed his face right down into the blanket and double fisted it so hard that his knuckles must have been white, thrusting backward toward the boy behind him as he felt his orgasm building.

“I…’m gonna come,” he muttered into the sheet, but he figured that Leather Jacket Nick™ must have heard him, because one hand continued to grip onto his hips to hold him in place, but the other reached around under him to grab onto the hard cock that was squeezed between his body and the bed. His doppelgänger jerked him quickly – there wasn’t really any way that he could go slow considering how close Nick was – before Nick saw white, collapsing onto the bed as spurts of come soaked the blanket beneath him.

The other boy returned both his hands to Nick’s hips and lifted his ass slightly, slamming into it with much greater force and speed than Nick thought possible, before he shuddered and stopped, and Nick could actually feel something inside of him. _That is – **my** – come_. His doppelgänger’s hands remained on his body for a few moments longer as he slowly began to move again, getting the last of his come out and spread around the inside of Nick’s ass before withdrawing.

When the other boy had completely removed his dick, he again shoved in a single finger, reaching in deep and swirling it around for a moment before removing it and – using his other hand to encourage Nick to turn over – bringing it to Nick’s mouth. This should _definitely_ be wrong, he thought as he took his doppelgänger’s come-covered finger between his lips and sucked off what was essentially _his own_ come, but it certainly didn’t feel that way. He wasn’t sure what this felt like, but he couldn’t help when he closed his eyes and moaned around the other boy’s finger.

Nick opened his eyes again as the other boy pulled his finger back, right in time to see the grin reappear on his face. “So,” his doppelgänger began, “are you ready?”

It took him a moment to remember what the other boy was talking about.

“Oh…you mean…I have to go _right now_?”

“That was the deal,” Leather Jacket Nick™ stated, stepping back to allow Nick to stand back up.

The pain in his ass ached as he stood and bent over to grab his clothes from the floor. Nick wasn’t feeling very confident anymore – he certainly didn’t feel ready for this – but that was the deal, and it wouldn’t bode well for him to begin breaking deals with…himself.

As Nick pulled his briefs back on, the other boy just stood by, wearing nothing but his shirt and leather jacket, and watched. Nick took the moment to look over him, to get a look at his own naked bottom half from an angle that he certainly was unlikely to see again. Suddenly all the questions he had when this doppelgänger first appeared came back to him: what was going on? How was this even possible? People couldn’t normally have sex with a carbon copy of themselves, right? It’s not as though this other Nick was a twin, an identical sibling – no, this was _another Nick Jonas_ , and his identical cock had just been inside of Nick’s ass while his come still lined the inside of it.

Bending down to pull his jeans back on, Nick started, “I have to –”

“No questions, remember?”

It should have been weird that the other boy seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, but well, it was himself. Of course he would understand what was going through Nick’s head. He nodded, “Right.”

He continued to redress himself, buttoning up his plaid shirt and fixing the collar before grabbing for his socks and shoes. His movements slowed a bit as he sat on the bed to put on his shoes, nervous because he certainly wasn’t ready to show Joe what he wanted. He wasn’t backing out the deal – he had committed himself already to honouring his promise to himself – but that didn’t mean he was ready to do it. Joe would certainly not want anything to do with him once he knew how Nick felt about him, and that made Nick feel queasy. Finished dressing himself, he remained sitting on the bed, staring into the room before him without actually focusing on anything.

“Come on, big boy,” his doppelgänger egged him. “You can do this.”

The other boy even put his hand on Nick’s shoulder for a moment, so Nick nodded and stood up, still not quite looking at something, but ready to at least get this over with. His ass was sore and he was certain that he was probably leaking _his own come_ into his briefs, but he was going to march across the hall and use everything that his doppelgänger just taught him to make Joe understand exactly what he means to him – if he doesn’t toss Nick out first, that is.

Nick pulled away from his doppelgänger as he turned toward the door of the room, when it occurred to him that maybe he should at least thank Leather Jacket Nick™ before he left. Turning back around, he began, “Tha–”

He stopped. There was no sign of the other boy anywhere in the room.

_Did this really happen?_

_Could I have imagined it all along?_

It had to have happened. Nick could still feel the ache in his ass from having been pounded only minutes earlier. He could have dreamed up being fucked by himself – though why would he want to? – but he couldn’t make up that soreness, that was definitely real. Just to be certain, he reached down into the back of his pants and gently touched his aching hole. It was definitely slick still from the hand sanitizer they had used as lube. Nope, Nick hadn’t imagined anything.

But then what had even happened?

Shaking his head, he knew that if he attempted to think it through and dwell on it, he wouldn’t achieve the task he committed himself to carrying out. So, taking one more glance around the room, he turned again toward the door and crossed the hall. Taking a deep breath, he knocked twice on the door and waited. The seconds seemed to be passing by slower than usual until the door creaked open and there stood his older brother, damp still from a shower but a wide smile on his face.

“Nick!” Joe exclaimed. “What’s up?”

“Hey Joe, can we…” Nick let out the breath he had been holding before looking apprehensively at his brother, “can we…talk?”


End file.
